Fun times at church!!!

FUN

Phone call from Jesus, and Satan!!!!!

So, I was called by Jesus today.  He was all like.... "sup fool."  I then got a call on the other line, it was Satan.  He was cool with teleconferencing with Jesus.  After a long-winded conversation about how they both tried to weave their love into my life during the first 22 years of my life they agreed to make me an ambassador to earth from heaven and hell!!!!!  After all, why can't we all just get along!

Wish me luck!!!

?????????

So, apparently, it was opposite day when was baptized!  I guess I am a sheep of Satan's flock, now!!!!  Oh, well, all I wanted was to be accepted and appreciated!  Can I ask for more????  Thanks, Satan!

I've Made tons of cool friends along the way!!!!

Post-Baptism thoughts

After my baptism, my "preacher" told me:



Giving your life to god is like taking it up the butt. You can call yourself a virgin, but, you still got fucked in the ass!



I have been questioning his remark all day, I don't quite understands how it fits into Christianity.  I guess god works in mysterious ways!!!!!  I can't wait to update you all about the lamb sacrifice next week!


CHEERS!!!

baptism

Today was my baptism in pig/goat blood, that shit is hard to get out of your ears!

Here's a pic of Christine!!!!

Jesus V2!!!!!!!

Today was a great day, after a stroll down Haskell I really realized how lucky everyone is to live in east Lawrence.  I couldn't help but notice a cute little house with a delipated foundation.  I couldn't help but realize what a great blessing that family who owns the house got; if an earthquake comes, their house is already compromised!

I had a nice talk to an old friend with Hemophilia today, he cannot help but stop, everyday, and rejoice in the thought of God giving newborns blood-clotting diseases.  How righteous a God who makes babies bleed easier!

Thanks be to god!

When Jesus came into my life

As you all know, I was baptized Catholic and confirmed Catholic.  I must say, being Atheist and Catholic has been hard, though. I found Jesus, the only problem is that he wants me to buy these damn crystals to help cleanse my soul.  Jesus also told me I need to eat a high fiber diet and drink more Ovaltine; the only problem arose when he told me I needed to be re-baptized, only this time in a shower of pigs blood.  I really don't understand why Jesus wants me to do this, but if I am to accept Jesus's love then I must do his will.