HAS FOUND PROOF OF GOD!

Hi again all,

I have had a close encounter with Jebus this week.  While searching a friends blog I encountered a series of YouTube videoz that changed my life, they have touched me in a way no priest can.  How can there be such beauty and symmetry in life without god?  How beautiful is the balance between Satan and Jebus?  Is there any better evidence of god than a Banana?????

PROOF OF GOD

HI, I went on a leadership trip!

To all of those (1/2 of college students) who think they are leaders and attend leadership conferences and go on leadership trips: you all are a dumbasses.  Go back to kindergarten where you should have learned to share and play nice.  If you've had to relearn these traits at a "pat your back because you are the head of an unimportant student organization group" convention, you don't have the capacity to lead.  kthxbye

BIBLE VERSE OF DIVINE INSPIRATION!!!!!!!

Today, I would like to share with you a verse in the bible that inspires me every day:

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt.  There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 

Ezekiel 23:19-20

This is really, like, inspiring because it keeps me strong on through those rough days.  Having sex constantly can have a moral toll, but with the Bible I can justify (and be forgiven) any action.  I would like to thank Jesus for the Laissez Faire lifestyle I live today!!!!!

Happy L8 Th@nKsGiViNG!!!!

A mid-morning Mass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope everyone who attended Mass in Stull, KS today had as much fun as I did!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUN!

A message from St. Dungeon Master

This morning I woke up to the most pure, impure feeling.  As I routinely went about my morning tasks of unholy prayer and holy meditation, my brain was AIM messaged by God's Ambassador to hell (St. Dungeon Master).  Now that I am holy, I have been given the power to email thoughts to my Gmail account.  The conversation went as follows:

St. DM:  Danny,your holy-unholiness has been lacking.
Danny:   LEIK  WTF MAYNG????????????
St. DM:  You cannot reach Holy-Unholy Nirvana unless you are annoyingly flamboyant about your beliefs.  Blogging isn't enough!  You must use music and campus ranting to reach Holy-Unholy Enlightening!!!  Here is a song, sung by Fred Phelps and Bill Graham themselves, that should be used to pass the Good/Bad word:

666th commandment

Danny: As a brainwashed follower, I will do anything you ask of me!!!!!!! SO HAPPY !!!!!!

The concert!!@1!!!1 OMGZZZZZZ

I was recently given a free ticket to the "godapalooza" concert, there were some local Christian and Satanic bands playing!  Pillar opened up for Deftones, who turned the stage over to Scott Stapp who sang a wonderful rendition of Nine inch Nails' "Closer" !!!!!!!!!!

After the concert ended everyone wanted an encore from Scott Stapp, and to our surprise Rammstein's Till Lindemann preformed "Buch Dich" with Christine O'Donnell on the receiving end.  What a spiritually uplifting night!!!


I'll leave you with this inspiring biblical quote that helps me remember, everyday, the importance of equality!!!&!!?!


LEVITICUS 27:5 “Your valuation of a (human) male shall be twenty shekels, and for a female ten shekels.”

Fun times at church!!!

FUN

Phone call from Jesus, and Satan!!!!!

So, I was called by Jesus today.  He was all like.... "sup fool."  I then got a call on the other line, it was Satan.  He was cool with teleconferencing with Jesus.  After a long-winded conversation about how they both tried to weave their love into my life during the first 22 years of my life they agreed to make me an ambassador to earth from heaven and hell!!!!!  After all, why can't we all just get along!

Wish me luck!!!

?????????

So, apparently, it was opposite day when was baptized!  I guess I am a sheep of Satan's flock, now!!!!  Oh, well, all I wanted was to be accepted and appreciated!  Can I ask for more????  Thanks, Satan!

I've Made tons of cool friends along the way!!!!

Post-Baptism thoughts

After my baptism, my "preacher" told me:



Giving your life to god is like taking it up the butt. You can call yourself a virgin, but, you still got fucked in the ass!



I have been questioning his remark all day, I don't quite understands how it fits into Christianity.  I guess god works in mysterious ways!!!!!  I can't wait to update you all about the lamb sacrifice next week!


CHEERS!!!

baptism

Today was my baptism in pig/goat blood, that shit is hard to get out of your ears!

Here's a pic of Christine!!!!

Jesus V2!!!!!!!

Today was a great day, after a stroll down Haskell I really realized how lucky everyone is to live in east Lawrence.  I couldn't help but notice a cute little house with a delipated foundation.  I couldn't help but realize what a great blessing that family who owns the house got; if an earthquake comes, their house is already compromised!

I had a nice talk to an old friend with Hemophilia today, he cannot help but stop, everyday, and rejoice in the thought of God giving newborns blood-clotting diseases.  How righteous a God who makes babies bleed easier!

Thanks be to god!

When Jesus came into my life

As you all know, I was baptized Catholic and confirmed Catholic.  I must say, being Atheist and Catholic has been hard, though. I found Jesus, the only problem is that he wants me to buy these damn crystals to help cleanse my soul.  Jesus also told me I need to eat a high fiber diet and drink more Ovaltine; the only problem arose when he told me I needed to be re-baptized, only this time in a shower of pigs blood.  I really don't understand why Jesus wants me to do this, but if I am to accept Jesus's love then I must do his will.